Lady Lesson #10: Siblings
As you grow up, dear lady in training, there is one thing you need to remember: There are no people more important than your family. Your parents, your siblings, your grandparents, even aunts and uncles, cousins - these people are your brethren first and foremost, and until you marry into your future husband's family, your family is the group of people who you learn and benefit from, and who benefits from your skills and talents.
In your family, you meet your best friends and advisors, your teachers and classmates, your playmates and story tellers, you ball game team mates and your fellow musicians. Of course, you might not always feel inclined to view your family this way, but this is why I am writing this lesson to you.
Your siblings, be they younger or older, be they numerous or few, are your primary companions in your early years of life, beside your parents, and there is no bond stronger than the bond of blood. If you value and respect and love your siblings, they will be there for you and you for them while you grow up and when you are adults, when times are good and when times are bad. Enjoy the time you have with your siblings, devote attention to them, work together with them, play with them, in short, spend your time with them, and you will find that there are no better friends in the world than your brothers and sisters. The time you spend together during your childhood is a treasure nobody can take away from you again, and it will sustain you in difficult times.
But of course, just like with every relationship, in relationships between siblings things are not always the proverbial wine and roses. While you are growing up, you may have arguments with your siblings, you might be jealous, they might get on your nerves, you may get angry with them or be frustrated, or feel hurt. This is normal, and your siblings will feel one or all of these things about or because of you at some point too. The fact that this is normal does not mean, though, that it does not matter how you react to any of these things, be they your feelings or the feelings your siblings have towards you. There is no need to deny any of these feelings, but you do not have to let them get the better of you. If you have an issue with your siblings, you need to say so, kind heartedly and gently so, like a lady, but it needs to be addressed nevertheless so that bad feelings do not fester and poison your heart.
Now, depending no how old your siblings are and how old you are, it might not be very profitable to address your sibling directly. If you have a small brother of, say, 3 years, who regards your book as his and you are frustrated about it, it might be very difficult to reason with him about it. In such cases, it is up to your parents to set things straight, but they need to know about it first. If you do that, the outcome should be that, #1, you learn to understand your sibling better and how a child at his particular age feels about owning things, and #2, you will most probably not be frustrated anymore soon because the matter will be settled one way or another.
It is very important, especially since you are training to be a mother too soon, to watch and understand how your siblings are reacting, and why, in order to feel less anger and frustration and also in order to avoid difficulties because you see them coming beforehand. Do not hesitate to ask your mother, your grandmother, your older sisters, how they feel about and deal with behaviors you observe in your siblings and also in yourself. This way, what could be a source of anger and frustration can be turned into an opportunity of learning, and it will provide you with much wisdom that you will need once you are a mother yourself.
Lady Lesson #1: A Lady's Do's and Don't's
Lady Lesson #2: The Most Important Thing
Lady Lesson #4: The Principle of Obedience
Lady Lesson #5: The Practical Side to Obedience
Lady Lesson #6: A Woman's Calling
Lady Lesson #7: What Is Wrong With School ?
