On Jealousy In the Polygamous Family Part 2
Problems might also arise concerning the children. Jealousy might occur if a child forms close bonds with another wife, be it because the other wife is still very young, be it because they work on the same things together, or for any other reason. A mother might also feel irritated if other wives try to educate her children, or interfere with her ways of dealing with her children. Even if basic educational principles and goals should be the same in the polygamous family, and even if these principles should be agreed upon and understood explicitly, and followed by all adults alike, there will still be differences due to the personality of mothers, father and children. And it would be unwise to disregard such personal predispositions. Therefore, it might be prudent to define the responsibilities clearly, and in any case, the husband would be the last authority in any matter concerning one of his children. But a mindful and attentive attitude of all adults towards all the children will still be inevitable, and to a degree, all adults are responsible for all children. In case a child shows favoritism, the adult it favors is called to be doubly diligent to teach the child the right way.
Yet another source of jealousy might be the distribution of work and personal time for reflection and the pursuit of individual interests. Here, some might feel that others have a lighter workload, or that their work is better appreciated, or even just more visible, or allegedly more satisfying. Such feelings might be prevented by a good household chores manager, intelligent sharing and rotating of chores, and a general appreciative attitude towards each other's work, be it small or big, visible or invisible, economically important or unimportant. Attentiveness, openness, friendship and partnership among all the adults can help alleviate or even prevent such feelings.
Another reason for domestic discord could be a personal inclination towards mischievousness on a wife's part, or the tendency to form closer bonds with one wife and thus team up against another, or even the husband, for whatever purpose. Likewise, the tendency to shirk responsibility or avoid working diligently for the benefit of all will be counterproductive to a peaceful and quiet family life. All these create feelings of jealousy and envy on the part of those they are used against. Such tendencies are undesirable, will have to be addressed clearly and unmistakably, and should certainly find a place in the home rules among the attitudes that are discouraged.
Go back to the beginning here:
