On Jealousy In the Polygamous Family Part 1
Let's face it - it is unrealistic to assume that in a sisterhood of wives there will be no jealousy of one form or another. Of course there will be jealousy, rivalry even to a degree, maybe envy. The degree to which any of these affect the family life will largely depend on how they are dealt with. Since it is always good to know what we are up against, let me sketch a few scenarios that might occur.
First, there might be jealousy in respect to the husband's attention and affection. Since it is difficult for women to imagine that a man can love his wives as his children with equal love, doubts can occur, especially if furthered by one of the other wives. Favoritism on the husband's part would almost automatically breed domestic discord and barrenness, as we can see in Jacob's love for Rachel (Gen 29:10 - 35:20) in the bible. But even if the husband does not favor one of his wives, there might still be feelings of being less attractive to the husband, less exciting, less cared for, less satisfying. It is the husband's responsibility to deal with such feelings, preferably even before they occur.
Female rivalry, such as the bible records between Leah and Rachel, or in Hagar's attitude towards Sarah (Gen 16:4), is another source of domestic discord, another form of jealousy. This can occur in any number of ways. A wife might feel contempt for another because she does not have (as many) children, or because she is not as efficient in economically important fields, or because her sewing skills are poor, or because she is slower on the uptake, to give only a few examples. No matter where the source of such feelings lies, the attitude will cause trouble within the family. It is, again, the husband's responsibility to notice these feelings and help his wife overcome them, to find the source of such thoughts and help end them. But in order to do so, an open and trustful atmosphere is important. If someone's feelings are hurt, it is important not to hide, but to address it.
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