Teaching A Girl Responsibility Part 1
Children are children, and they are not accountable for their actions in terms of God's law until a certain age. For boys, the age of accountability starts between the age of 12 and 13. For girls, it starts at the age of 12. The Jewish Bat Mizwah reflects this fact to this day. In the bible, we see Jesus teaching in the synagogue in Jerusalem at the Passover when he was 12 years old (Lk 2:41-52).
This basically means that, as parents, we have 12 years time to teach our daughters and sons what God has in mind, so to speak, for His people, and to equip them with all good knowledge to help them live up to God's standard. We have 12 years time to teach them right from wrong according to God's word, to teach them the Law and how it applies to every area of life, and to teach them the reason why we are down here, in our respective place and role within the family, working together to build His kingdom. Once they have reached the age of accountability, the teaching doesn't stop, of course, but takes a slightly different turn, since our children have to learn now how to reflect on their own behavior and decisions in the light of Scripture, and how to live what they have been taught as they grow older and take more and more responsibility within the multi-generational family.
It is common knowledge that, if you are responsible for something that other people need and value, the work you do will be rewarding for yourself as well as beneficial for the whole family. This is true for small and big chores a family member is responsible for as well as for attitude and conduct. So in order to teach children how to act responsibly before God even before they are accountable before Him, a good training ground is the family with all its chores and activities that keep the whole house running like a well oiled and neat machine, and with all the godly guidelines for conduct and attitude that the family lives and teaches to the children.
1. Obedience
The most important aspect of following God's word is the ability to obey His word in all trust and faith. God has provided for us in every way if only we are willing to follow His lead, and this is the first lesson a child needs to learn in the family. As God has provided for His chosen people, so a father provides for his family, and the attitude of trustful obedience is the same towards the father and towards God. A father has the responsibility for all his family before God, and will be held accountable for all of them as well as for his own life on the Last Day. So his godly guidance is essential for the family, and all members, wives and children, show their love for the husband and father in trustful obedience, just like the whole house shows its love for God by obeying His word and command.
So teaching children obedience starts with the obedience of their mothers to their husband, and can be enhanced by showing the children the benefit of this attitude, though understanding why a certain thing needs to be done a certain way is not essential. We are to obey God's word no matter if we understand the reason behind His commandment, for we trust that He commands what is beneficial for us. The same trustful attitude we need to instill in our children, and that is done by living it ourselves as mothers and wives as well as by expecting and demanding it from our children. Consistency is important here as always, and also the broader view that obedience is a sign of love and trust, and that practicing obedience in the family means learning a vital skill when it comes to following God's word.
2. Reliability
Another important thing to learn is to be a reliable part of the whole. God gave each member of the family his and her appointed role, and within it, it is our responsibility to fulfill our duties readily and to the best of our ability, so that the other family members can rely on us as we rely on them. Being lazy means to squander time, just like being neglectful of your chores means squandering the contribution you can make to the family. Avoiding both is crucial to learning how to act responsibly as a good steward, and to be a reliable part of the family.
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